An arranged marriage is the coming together of two people from various backgrounds to build a life. It is extremely frequent in India. Couples in love marriages have the advantage of spending a lot of one-on-one time together before the wedding, but couples in arranged marriages frequently do not. We’ve heard about our parents adjusting to one other and to their families. We felt the intensity of every argument they had when we were kids.
Though our parents and grandparents are the pinnacles of making us believe in the institution of marriage, they have also created the misconception that life with your partner in an arranged marriage is not as romantic and love-filled as life in a love marriage. Being a part of a close friend’s blissful love-married existence may cause you to doubt the ease and love of an arranged marriage.
A certain level of faith in your partner’s affection is required, but what is more important is demonstrating love through both words and behavior. Simple gestures such as a lengthy glance, tender tones in the voice, tiny favors, and kindness can go a long way.
Here are some ideas for igniting romance in an arranged marriage.
Have an optimistic approach
Better things can sprout no matter how dire the situation appears. You may believe and feel that your happily ever after the fantasy of falling in love has come to an end, but this is not the case. Maintain an open mind and a positive attitude. Instead of dwelling on the problems and drowning yourself in sadness, you should look for the positives.
According to a study conducted by Harvard scholar Dr. Robert Epstein, couples in arranged marriages or those who have had their partner chosen for them by a parent or matchmaker tend to feel more in love as time passes, but couples in love marriages experience less passion for one other over time.
Make friends with your partner
Knowing your partner, whether it’s their culinary preferences or temperament, is crucial, and you can only do so if you spend time alone rather than with your respective families. Without your family scrutinizing your every move, alone time might help you better understand and develop compatibility.
You are entitled to a lifetime of happiness as a married pair. As a result, don’t rush into making the marriage work. Simply take each day as it comes and enjoy the progress of your relationship. Take one step at a time, and you might be shocked one day to realize how beautiful your journey as a partnership was.
Enhance your thoughts
A perplexed individual will almost certainly have a perplexing relationship. Sync your heart and head so that you can have clearer goals for what you want to achieve in your planned partnership. Don’t be fooled into thinking you can be married to one person and love another. That is how foolish people think, and it always leads to chaos. If you want your marriage to work, make sure you enter it with no baggage or preconceived assumptions.
Set your goals
Any person entering into a love relationship has expectations. If you think you don’t, you’re deceiving yourself. While compromise and mutual adjustment are essential in any marriage, going into your arranged marriage believing that you are not allowed to have any expectations is incorrect, and frankly, unreasonable and unworkable.
Let your partner know about any future expectations you have for your personal life or your work life in terms of career progression. Pay attention to their expectations as well. These pragmatic expectations will ground you and allow you to move forward in harmony as a group.
Be who you are
You don’t have to give up your identity just because you’re in an arranged marriage with your other half. You remain the same person you were before being married or engaged. There is no rule that says you must spend all of your time delighting your partner.
Even after your marriage, you should continue to get out with your friends and pursue your interests and hobbies. If your spouse wants to join in on the fun, all the better, but if you feel you need space and time away from the relationship to pursue your own interests, tell them nicely and you’ll be surprised how readily they’ll accept. That way, they’ll be able to pursue their own interests without feeling uncomfortable.
You will ultimately fall in love
Love is an essential component that will assist both of you in overcoming obstacles. Don’t be concerned if love, at first sight, does not occur. It may take some time, but you will eventually grow to love each other. Even if you’re already in love, don’t expect your partner to immediately reciprocate your sentiments. Give him/her your undivided attention and work on how you might earn his/her love. Be patient and don’t become irritated when your companion says or does something off-key.
According to an American psychologist Dr. Robert Epstein’s study titled How Love Emerges in Arranged Marriages, within 10 years, the connection felt by participants in an arranged marriage situation is reported to be nearly twice as strong as in love marriages. Epstein discovered that the level of parental participation is the single most important factor in a successful arranged marriage. This gives you yet more reason to maintain good relations with your in-laws.
